Crushin

So... It's official... I'm crushing. And I haven't crushed on anyone in a really, really long time! I forget how much fun it is! I'm not really the type of person to do anything about it though. I'll flirt and make it known (to some degree) that I'm interested, but after that it's up to him. Call me old fashioned ;)

I'm not the most experienced when it comes to dating, and yes I know I'm getting ahead of myself. I've had one boyfriend and we broke up right before I started my sophomore year of high school. He was the boy I grew up with, didn't see for four years, and then after hanging out again decided to start dating. All was fine and dandy until I fell for his best friend. Who also happened to be my best friends boyfriend.  Because I'm a great person, I never did anything about it and broke things off with my guy only to be crushed by my BFF. To make a long story short, nothing ever happened with the best friend. He truly is an asshole and I don't know what I ever saw in him. He pops up every once in a while. But he's old news.

So after that whole thing, watching my parents relationship end, witnessing the worst possible relationship between my sister and her own asshole boyfriend, being with someone started to seem like too much work and too much hurt. It's easier to be by myself. I got comfortable doing things for myself and by myself. Sure, I would be envious of the intimacy and connection couples seem to have. But I put my heart away for any one to actually see what it's all about. It takes me probably close to 6 months for me to really start to feel comfortable with people enough to open up. Which is why I have such a hard time making new friends because who really wants to wait around that long?

Which brings me back to this new boy. I've known him now for about 5 months now. We work together and so I do get to see a lot of him. And over the past few weeks I've gotten to know him more and more. We actually worked together all day on Saturday and it was surprisingly a really good time. I mean, come one, no one wants to work on Saturday. But he made it pretty great. We talked and he told me all of this personal stuff and it was so nice for him to be so open. It made me want to be open too. Except there isn't really all that much for me to be open about that I wasn't completely embarrassed by. I mean, how do you tell a guy you like that you don't do anything on the weekend because you don't really have friends? Or that you are completely inexperienced in the dating world ( yes after telling me his story about an ex he asked if I had one like that. I of course said no). I know that he's older and going to have more experience, but i still wanted to have something to say. Maybe next time I won't be so timid.

It's fun for now and we'll see where it takes me. But for now, I'll enjoy the attention and the flirting and keep my fingers crossed for something more. Who knows!?

A Day of Rest

I started writing this post as a catch-up for the ten months I didn't write anything. But I'm realizing now that it doesn't really matter. So I'll write about my day today.

Every Sunday I serve at my church-K2 The Church. I am a teacher for the two year olds. Each week I get to spend time with some of the most amazingly smart, adorable, and sometime annoying two year olds of K2 and teach them about Jesus and the Glory of God's love. I've been doing this for the past couple of months and it has turned into one of the most rewarding experience of my life. To be able to see the children grow before your eyes is amazing. Each week they come back taller, with a bigger vocabulary, and a little less skepticism towards me. I have formed bonds with a few of them and will truly be heartbroken when they turn three and move up to the next class. But I love reading them stories each week out of the children's Bible and having them color pictures of Jesus and Moses. Little kids can be so amazing and inspiring sometimes.

After I played with the kiddos I headed in to hear the service. Today's message was one of those messages that you need to hear, but its not always easy. And, of course, God has been trying to get this message across to me for the past few days it seems. I'm also reading the book "Crazy Love; Overwhelmed by a Relentless God" by Francis Chan right now and it has been about the same thing that Dave preached on this morning. All of these messages together combine to mean one thing in my life: follow Christ wholeheartedly.

Its amazing the way God works. He has put this message in front of me in so many ways over the past week. I think its about time I do something about it..